If you want to elevate yourself to “instant awesome” status among nerds, simply present your Zombie Ninja Pirate shirt and begin group contemplation about exactly how many degrees of cool you’d be if you were an undead, brain eating, Japanese mercenary martial arts master who performs covert operations while plundering land and sea.
Product Page: With Text: ($21.73) Without Text: ($21.73 via The Awesomer)
It has been proven that an eye for an eye is a pretty stupid way to get even. The fact that you will create a world full of pirates if people keep losing one eye is just one more reason to eschew that particular philosophy.
Product Page ($19.99)
Nothing says “hardcore pirate” like wearing an eyepatch and a sleep mask with another eyepatch on it.
Product Page ($10)
Walking around the city with any average bag is for those with no imagination. You will certainly have a lot more fun if you are toting your cash and credit cards around town with a Pirate Booty Bag instead. It may not be filled with gold, but the fantasy this bag brings with it will still be the one thing that keeps you clinging to your sanity.
Product Page (£10.99, about $16)
An ideal shirt or sweatshirt for your next voyage on the high seas. Pirate humor is always appreciated on a boat.
Product Page ($14.95 t-shirt, $24.95 sweatshirt)
Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching, and that means it is time to start thinking about how you are going get yourself some booty this year. Chances are that beer gut isn’t going to be a hit with the ladies, so maybe you should consider kicking it up a a notch with some role playing. Unfortunately, dressing as a love pirate is more about the funny than it is about being sexy—and a woman laughing during sex can bring the party to a halt real fast.
Product Page ($2.95)
