Hit the bank, or the slopes wearing one of these stylish ski masks. Go as a hamburger, werewolf, clown or Jesus. Maybe you and your crew can mix and match—although it’s more difficult for a teller to take you seriously when the bank is being robbed by a burger and Jesus. It might also lead to some unwanted nicknames in the local press. I can picture it now: “The Jesusburger Gang strikes again!”
According to the product page, these balloon animal-esque necklaces were handmade by a mysterious Javier. But who is Javier really? A naked guy with clown makeup on who is listening to circus music and making tiny bicycle necklaces in a dark basement perhaps?
Product Page ($10)
Always keep an emergency clown nose on hand just in case you are recruited on the spot to join the circus. You can never be too prepared.
Product Page ($5)
The expected symbols for comedy and tragedy are the smiling/frowning masks. This tote bag illustrates the whole concept more simply and with much better flair, even going so far as to use Mr. Shakespeare himself. We all know that clowns are supposed to be funny, throwing a clown nose on Shakespeare covers that one. And I think we all also know what it feels like to be stabbed in the back. Take this bag out and show whichever side to the world that currently fits your emotional state.
Product Page ($19.99)
Damn clowns—I friggin’ hate them. Mimes too. Those unfunny bastards.
Sure this visor is hilarious, but it also makes a serious personal statement against clowns and the whole circus industry in general. Wear it proudly.
Product Page ($14)
