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In case you are not familiar with the popular game from Adult Swim, 5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) tells the sad tale of a cubicle jockey who has been called to one meeting too many. As the name illustrates, he has 5 minutes to do himself in with objects around the office before the meeting starts. After all, real Hell has to be better than sitting through another boring meeting.
This is the official shirt of the game—and it shows you how paper cutting boards can be a hazardous but effective means to an end.
Product Page ($18)
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This Venture Bros. OSI (Office of Secret Intelligence) track jacket says “hey, I’m liable to break out into a sprint and/or kill you with my bare hands at any time.” Of course, the reality is that you haven’t run since grade school and your kung fu grip is often defeated by pickle jars.
Product Page ($50)
By spending $75 on these J. Fold leather wallets, you help support Adult Swim programming. By stuffing cash into the wallet, you make a subliminal association between Adult Swim and money. Adult Swim makes money and you get more awesome shows. It’s a win win. Well, Adult Swim wins a little more, so it’s more like a WIN win.
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Why, those Ignignokt and Err pants look swank enough to play golf in. There’s also a Robot Chicken “dinner jacket” (some may call it a hoodie) and a pair of elegant ATHF or Murderface socks. Throw in a pair of loafers and a pipe and I’m ready to hit the country club and drink scotch in a room with all wood paneling. Additional images are available after the break.
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In my opinion, the Venture Bros. is the best damn animated show on TV right now. And if I wasn’t so sure I would look like an assclown wearing it, I just might buy this hoodie with the gigantic Guild logo on back.
Product Page ($45)
