cupcake beanie

If you want your head look like a giant cupcake, prepare to hear that as a lame pickup line at least once.

Product Page: ($30)

redneck-airlines

The average flight you take these days caters to the wealthy fliers and those with thousands of frequent flier miles. This particular flight is meant for the rest of us. If the only way you can fly without being crammed into a tiny seat is to bring your own transportation then so be it. Nothing wrong with a trailer if it adds to your comfort.

Product Page ($14.99)

bladder-pin-2

If there is anything that I think we can all agree on it is that a happy bladder is a great thing. Share your happy bladder with all those around you with this lovely pin. It makes no difference what occasion you are wearing it for, if your bladder is happy, then you are happy. And if the bladder is not happy, then no one is happy.

Product Page ($4.99)

awesome watch shirt

What they really should have done is skipped the shirt and made this into an actual LED wristwatch. What time is it? It’s half-past awesome.

Product Page ($21)

bateman

What if Christian Bale’s world’s collided? What if Patrick Bateman was the man behind the bat suit? Actually, that would be kind of awesome.

Product Page (£20 or $33)

Dog Circus Monkey Rider Costume

Torture your dog by making him wear this circus monkey costume which will result in mocking canine laughter and ruin his chances of siring a litter of puppies with all the neighborhood bitches. You can tell the dog in the photo is thrilled.

Product Page: ($39.99)

eye-for-an-eye

It has been proven that an eye for an eye is a pretty stupid way to get even. The fact that you will create a world full of pirates if people keep losing one eye is just one more reason to eschew that particular philosophy.

Product Page ($19.99)

einstein-kiss

Mr. Einstein looks like a natural as the fifth member of Kiss. But it is a pretty close call on who has the most famous tongue, Albert or Gene Simmons. There is definitely the potential for some animosity between those two.

Product Page ($16.99)

allworkwhitemensbig

Wear this shirt and check out the backwards writing in a mirror to remind yourself that too much work (and cabin fever) could result in disturbing visions and a desire to kill your entire family.

Product Page ($28)

say tweet again

He’s trying hard to be the shepherd, but all of this “tweet” bs could turn any sensible person into a cold-blooded murderer. So go ahead, say “tweet” again. He double dares you.

Product Page ($24)