Hey ladies! I see you looking at me in this thong thinking hot, sexy thoughts. How’s about I put out that fire with my hose? Yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ bout. But first, lemme hit the bathroom quick. Oh don’t worry—I’ll be back soon. I don’t even have to take my underwear off this time. I know baby, I know. You ARE lucky to have a guy like me.
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…dude, wtf.