If your significant other puts on “a show” after a few drinks at a party, you may want to pick up one of these shirts and legally absolve yourself from any involvement. The full text on the shirt is available after the break.
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Have the coolest ear decoration without the need for any piercings whatsoever. The dragon is available in gold or sterling silver and will guard your ears like no other mythical creature could.
Product Page ($155 silver, $2,075 14k gold)
In the world of navel piercings there is a new sheriff in town, you. Forget the boring little rings with balls, this sheriff’s badge and handcuffs give your dates an even better idea of what to expect than the piercing gave them in the first place.
Product Page ($9.99)
Why would you wear a willy around your neck? Most likely for the same reason that you got all those piercings. Pure shock value. That is usually pretty tough to achieve with a scarf.
Product Page NSFW site (£6.99, about $11.30)
Whether you wear this to remind you of your hot lover or favorite dog, it is still weird. There is just no way around that. If it isn’t weird enough as it comes, throw in a few piercings.
Product Page ($248)
This would be one of the more unusual piercings you would be able to show off. Only those close to you would ever know of your odd sense of humor with jewelry. The little pinch you are apparently about to get would probably be fairly painless compared to how much the damn piercing hurt when you got it.
Product Page (£4.00, about $8)
There are not too many times you actually want a snake wrapped around your neck, but this would be one of them. The wearer will be kept nice and toasty warm, and with the snake’s piercing blue eyes and extended tongue he will be a formidable adversary for anyone looking to steal borrow him. If there were such a thing as a cute snake, this scarf is about as close as you are going to get.
Product Page ($50)
If you pierced your belly button as a teenager you were most likely rebelling against your parents. As soon as they found out they probably pictured you doing some things that good teenage girls shouldn’t do. You can remove that doubt from their minds or at least just mess with them a bit more if you wear this Kama Sutra Belly Button Ring. Just be careful or you will need the belly button ring pictured after the break.
Product Page ($6.99)
If earrings and necklaces are just not getting you enough attention this Crystal Facemask will certainly fix that. A variety of metals and crystals will let you get a whole slew of these to go with any outfit you choose to wear. Best of all it doesn’t even require any piercings.
Product Page ($28)
Enjoy the adornment of celebrities, say Janet Jackson, without the pain of some piercing. Most jewelry under clothing can’t be seen, but it would be a bit hard to cover this up. And if you get caught in a wardrobe malfunction maybe this jewelry will garner more attention than your bare flesh.
Product Page (£9.99, about $20)
