tote bag

It looks like the Mario tote bag would have no trouble collecting mushrooms. Even those big Portobellos.

Product Page ($15 via Sprite Stitch via Gearfuse)

nasa meatball rhinestone tote bag

Put down your Bedazzler, this NASA meatball tote bag comes pre-blinged with rhinestones.

Product Page ($18)

kitten and sushi tote bagAt first glance, the design on this tote bag may look like a cat humping a giant sponge, that is until you realize it’s really a cat humping a giant piece of sushi. All you need are motion lines to move this design from cute to bawdy.

Product Page: ($15)

finger sex tote bag

All I can think about when I see this tote bag is that Beavis and Butthead episode where Butthead is trying to explain sexual intercourse to Beavis with his jaw wired shut.

Product Page ($14)

mummies-hoodie-toilet-paper

As you will see after the break, the mummy’s obsession with toilet paper can create some very awkward moments.

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loch ness monster tote

Grainy photographs and shady eyewitness accounts are all the “facts” I need.

Product Page ($15)

Anderson Cooper Bag

Two signs that you’ve made it to pop culture icon status: having your mug turned into pop art, and then having said image plastered onto a canvas tote bag.  The image displaying Coop’s concerned “WTF?” face was probably taken when he heard the news.

Product Page: ($16)

i-heart-pubes-bag

I’m not a big fan of pubes to be perfectly honest. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with liking pubes or even loving them—but heading to the supermarket with an I Heart Pubes Tote Bag is probably stepping over the line.

Product Page ($17)

modern-toss-bag

It may be hard to pick up on the subtlety, but the essence of this bag is spend, spend spend!

Product Page (£4 or $6 via TWBE)

big-spender-bag

There is nothing wrong with advertising what you are really looking for. The woman carrying this tote bag around is just looking for a nice man who wants to fill it with goodies that he pays for. Or he could just fill it with cash. It is his choice, as long as the bag ends up full at the end.

Product Page (£5.00, about $7.15)