Besides the all-over beer can print and pockets, the Matix Gusto Bigcans Boardshorts also feature a mesh can holder. So, if you wear these shorts with this hoodie, this bandolier, this belt and this hat, you can live your dream of becoming a walking keg.
Product Page ($60 via The Awesomer)
Let’s face it, being in the marching band is not like being the star quarterback—but that won’t stop proud parents and students from wearing PepWear shorts that feature band-related propaganda printed across the ass. Only good taste can do that. Additional designs are available after the break.
Okay, wearing cycling shorts is fine—if you are in the Tour de France. Otherwise, motorists driving down the road don’t need to see the crack of your ass as you hold up traffic. That having been said, wearing Pink Floyd branded cycling shorts doesn’t help matters—it only makes things weirder. And that goes for the AC/DC, Grateful Dead, Kiss and Rolling Stones versions too.
It is awfully difficult to lug a trail map around the slopes with you all day. With the number of times you wipe out in a cloud of snow, the thing is bound to get wet and unreadable. Wear a pair of these silk shorts and have a trail map for any one of 13 different ski areas just a quick unzip away. They have one with a map of the NYC subway system as well. I can’t really decide whether it is odder to drop your pants in the streets of NY or on top of a freezing mountain.
The Chinese manufacturer behind these shorts claim that it can deliver multiple massage modes, automatic temperature control with “infrared heaters” and an automatic setting that will run for 20 minutes. In other words, these “massage pants” appear to be sauna pants that pleasure you while reducing fat.
Yeah, let that sink in for a second then wrap your mind around this: there is a 500 unit minimum order. So, if you think about it, there could be giant massage pants orgies going on somewhere out there.
Product Page (bulk orders only)
