Gold Jeweled Crown Ring: You Are the New King of the Smurfs
Who would use a crown this tiny? The Smurfs maybe? What did you do—take Smurf Village by force, send Papa Smurf into exile and steal the crown for yourself? That’s cold man…real cold.
Product Page ($3850)
Is Your Finger Growing a Head?
As a piece of art this ring has some value, as a piece of jewelry it is likely to freak people out. I know I would be surprised every time I saw this damn thing on my finger. Whenever you wear just call it a performance art piece and you may get away with it.
Product [...]
Green Lantern Ring
If you never thought you could be a super hero, I am here to tell you just how wrong you are. They all try to keep their identities secret, so something subtle like a huge ring just may make people think you are the real deal. It is worth a shot anyway. Just a word [...]
Treasure Ring: Not Exactly Manly Like Pirates
The fact that you like pirates does not mean that people seeing you wearing this will associate you with Johnny Depp. Liberace maybe. Who else would wear a huge treasure chest on their finger that shows off a slew of Swarovski crystals when opened?
Product Page ($44)
Paw Prints Ring: Damn Dog Leaves Tracks Everywhere
It is almost impossible to get away from your pet leaving tracks all over your house. The muddier it is outside the more they seem to want to jump on the furniture. So it comes as no surprise they would make a mess of your jewelry as well. It’s a good story for gullible listeners [...]
Yes, No, Maybe Ring Has All of the Answers
Is this ring friggin huge? (Spin, Spin, Spin) Yes.
The Yes, No, Maybe ring knows all.
Product Page ($9)
Shot Glass Wedding Ring
A useful product for bachelorette parties or wedding preparation. Both occasions call for lots of liquor to get you through them. The oversized diamond has a cap you can open, just take it around and ask for free refills. Who would refuse a bride to be?
Product Page ($3.79)
Sterling Silver Band of Skulls Ring
A band of skulls around your finger can be a warning to others. It can be a display of your twisted state of mind. Whatever you want it for, it is a unique piece of jewelry that can exhibit your own personality. Even if that personality has to be a bit on the morbid [...]
REAL Insect Rings
Is your accessorizing really complete before you have a gaudy ring with a dead bug in clear plastic? I think not. The best part was the disclaimer listed on the page that sells it: “Styles, Sizes and Insects will vary”.
Product Page ($15 per assorted dozen)
Tire Rings: Your Fiancee Will Never Go For This
Are you planning on getting married soon? Do you enjoy automobiles, motorcycles, and mountain biking? Think a ring shaped like a tire from one of these vehicles would be a good idea? Think again my friend.
Product Page (customizable - prices vary)
