Finally, a serious solution to a serious problem. Are you tired of bugs crawling into your ears at night, making you do things against your will? Well, worry no more—Ear Guards are here.
These little shower caps fit over each ear—like an impenetrable fortress against spiders and other insects that might bore into your brain.
Product Page ($3)
This Vilac umbrella is made from high gloss lacquered wood and features a novelty cellphone at the base of the handle. It’s too bad it’s not real, because when you think about it, having an umbrella with a cellphone mount would be really convenient on rainy days, and would leave one hand free to hail a taxi, carry a briefcase, or flip someone off while simultaneously talking on the phone and keeping yourself dry.
Product Page: ($30 via Gizmodiva)
There’s a lot more to watches than telling time. Did you know they can also be a trusted friend, a pop quiz, a safety feature for a pistol and a daily reminder that you’re going to die? That’s just the tip of the timepiece iceberg. Check out their full range with these 10 examples.
Novelty ties are all about being noticed—and it would be hard not to be noticed when wearing this No. 2 Pencil Tie. The bright red eraser and finely detailed wood give it the authenticity that lets you get away with such an audacious choice.
Product Page ($9.88)
You may know Napoleon as the short guy who ran France and waged wars, but few have ever heard of Napoleon the grill master. Nobody in 18th century France was more competent with a hibachi, a hunk of dead animal, and some Kingsford. If your skills with the grill are lacking, you can pick up this 100% polyester 32†Napoleon apron and try to channel the greatness.
Product Page ($16.99)
We have all heard the joke about putting a paper bag over the head of any ugly lover, but sometimes the situation can be downright serious. These Ugly Bags are “heavy duty for extra ugliness” so you know that they will make quick work of a code red ugly situation.
Product Page ($1.85)
Who needs a flesh and blood boyfriend when you can have a fake yet kissable snap on bracelet version? The answer is normal people my friends…normal people need real boyfriends. And the fact that the “boyfriend” looks a lot like a “girlfriend” only adds to the weirdness.
Product Page ($8.95)
I don’t know about your ass, but the mustachioed dude with the man-boobs on this oversized shopper bag probably has a little junk in the trunk.
Product Page ($11.99)
If you are willing to have a measuring stick attached to your boxer shorts at all times—you had dammed well better be hung like a moose. Otherwise you are just opening yourself up to ridicule.
Product Page ($16.95)
Grab your Ziggy Stardust apron, put on some makeup and whip up the most spaced out, androgynous BBQ ever.
Product Page (£9.99 or $20)
