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P.S. And once I claw your face, I would very much like to eat your intestines with some Grey Poupon. If it isn’t too much trouble of course.
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(Threadless via Gamefreaks)

Rather than sit around with a simple bit of foam rubber stuck between your toes, use these Bear Toe Spreaders to keep those freshly painted nails from smearing with something a little cuddlier, cuter and more bizarre.
Product Page ($26.99)

You must be strong with a gentle touch, but still manly enough to kill a grizzly with your bare hands in a manner which brings honor to your lumberjack forefathers, like Paul Bunyan and that old Brawny guy who looked like a 70′s porn star. Wax on, wax off.
Product Page: ($24)