Listen to this conversation between LBJ and his tailor Joe Haggar recorded on August 9, 1964. While instructing Haggar on how to tailor his pants, Johnson says what is quite possibly the funniest shit ever spoken by a sitting president:
Now the pockets, when you sit down, everything falls out, your money, your knife, everything, so I need at least another inch in the pockets. And another thing – the crotch, down where your nuts hang – is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me, it’s just like riding a wire fence. These are almost, these are the best I’ve had anywhere in the United States.
But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me , you never do have much of margin there. See if you can’t leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.
Check out the video—the magical moment occurs between 3:45 & 4:20