When people joke about there being a Tumblr for absolutely everything, they’re not kidding. There’s even one that tells you what outfits to wear for ridiculously specific occasions. What to Wear When… is run by Rave Sashayed, and the posts offer helpful advice for situations such as: WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Are An Evil Queen Donning the Full Regalia, WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Are A Billionaire Playgirl Philanthropist Using Your Fortune to Fight Crime (pictured above), and WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: Slinking Into a P.I.’s Office After-Hours to Tearfully Beg Him for Help Finding Your Husband’s Killer.
Yeah, it’s that awesome. As intriguing as the titles are, the explanation of the items included in the outfit are even better. You’ll want to set aside a few minutes to browse this Tumblr’s archives.
Read the details behind the playgirl philanthropist look and see another example after the break.
From What To Wear When:
WHAT TO WEAR WHEN: You Are A Billionaire Playgirl Philanthropist Using Your Fortune to Fight Crime
Mobility is definitely important, but strong lines and an imposing, distinctive color profile are at least equally so. If you don’t have a brand, how will villains know they should beware you?
Expect to lose some of your basics to bullets/force beams/leaping onto the roofs of moving buses. This navy satin Topshop bodysuit gives you room to move — and at only $60, you can stock up.
What do you think about “Eclipse” as a superhero name? Is there already one of those? How about “Equinox”? No, that sounds like a cleaning product. Well, we can keep thinking about it.
A cropped jacket is a great, practical way to conjure classic 80s Street Fighter badassery. This Peter Pilotto number is on trend and, with its night-blue color and silver sleeve inserts, on brand — plus it’s equipped with pockets for your secret cell phone, fruit leather, and all the villainous USB drives you can steal.
Cover everything but your upper thighs for a look that says “Check These Bad Boys Out.”
Made of lightweight stretch leather, these thigh-high boots by Maison Martin Margiela are as flexible as they are fashionable. “But shouldn’t I be wearing flats?” Sack up, sister! I don’t hear She-Ra complaining, and she doesn’t even have the stability of a wedge sole.
Obviously, you’ll need a mask to protect your alter ego. Custom, face-flattering styles are available on Etsy — though you might want to charge them to somebody else’s credit card.
Fingerless gloves are key for hauling yourself up the sides of buildings, and also they are cool. The zipper on the back of these DSquared babies will add extra punch to your backhands — and they’re on sale!