Fashionably Geek » Pants and Shorts

Zombie Hands Hot Shorts

Jeff Chenkus — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:00:35 +0000

It looks like this zombie has things other than brains on his mind, and these hot shorts have the print to prove it. It also could be that he is confused about where your intelligence is really centered.

Product Page ($19)

My Instrument Is In My Shorts

Sean Fallon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:54:00 +0000

Let’s face it, being in the marching band is not like being the star quarterback—but that won’t stop proud parents and students from wearing PepWear shorts that feature band-related propaganda printed across the ass. Only good taste can do that. Additional designs are available after the break.

Product Page ($15)

Funky Flames Let You Know Who Ripped One

Jonathan Fallon — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:26:34 +0000

Want to get some laughs by drawing attention to your baby’s excessive, noxious flatulence? Make it happen with these”Funky Flames” nappy pants. Later in life the memories will serve to remind you why the kids never come to the nursing home to visit.

Product Page: (£6.99 or about $10.56)

Rubik’s Cube Swim Trunks Are Definitely Puzzling

Sean Fallon — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:21:56 +0000

Rubik’s Cube swim trunks—the only pair of swim trunks that says: “hey ladies—think you can solve the complex 3D puzzle going on in my pants?”

Product Page ($50 AUD or $38)

Adult Swim Debuts “Classy” Line Of Clothing

Sean Fallon — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:31:41 +0000

Why, those Ignignokt and Err pants look swank enough to play golf in. There’s also a Robot Chicken “dinner jacket” (some may call it a hoodie) and a pair of elegant ATHF or Murderface socks. Throw in a pair of loafers and a pipe and I’m ready to hit the country club and drink scotch in a room with all wood paneling. Additional images are available after the break.

Product Page: Pants ($75) Hoodie ($50) Socks ($15) via Gearfuse

Batman Yoga Pants Are a Big Turn On

Sean Fallon — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 15:22:56 +0000

Even the ladies have to be psyched about the release of The Dark Knight next week. In preparation for this momentous occasion, grab a pair of these Batman branded yoga pants. It looks comfortable and it is sure to whip up a testosterone fueled frenzy in every guy that you meet.

Product Page ($30)

Human Ass: This Season’s Most Stylish Handbag

Sean Fallon — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:00:56 +0000

What better (and more stylish) way to carry around your personal belongings that with one of these unique pants handbags? Each bag is lined with two pockets, but they are made of FABRIC—not human orifices.

Product Page ($53—available in a variety of styles)

Massage Pants Work Out the Kinks in Your Junk

Sean Fallon — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:49:37 +0000

The Chinese manufacturer behind these shorts claim that it can deliver multiple massage modes, automatic temperature control with “infrared heaters” and an automatic setting that will run for 20 minutes. In other words, these “massage pants” appear to be sauna pants that pleasure you while reducing fat.

Yeah, let that sink in for a second then wrap your mind around this: there is a 500 unit minimum order. So, if you think about it, there could be giant massage pants orgies going on somewhere out there.

Product Page (bulk orders only)