Don’t want to sound pompous about that special job or talent you have? Let these ties do all the bragging for you. They’ll say more about your lot in life than words ever could. Wearing them will boldly tell the world that you are a dedicated member of the Audio/Visual club at school, that you usher with pride at the local Cineplex, that you are a skilled artisan in the area of grandpa humor, or that you like magic. Any way you look at it, they all equal one thing…chicks, and lots of them.
The necktie/bowtie combo are both made from real film. The necktie measures approximately 13” and has a convenient brass weight at the bottom to hold it down. It also features photos of a large city with sailboats, palm trees, ocean liners, etc. The bowtie sports scenes of San Francisco complete with trolley. These badges of cool are available on ebay until October 30.
Product Page ($14.00)
Dress like an engineer without the trouble of actually carrying all this crap around. The pocket protector with the the compass, calculator, ruler, triangle and pencil is embroidered on. The ingenuity of that makes it worthy of an engineer, just without the utility. The graph paper tie is just the a nice additional touch. It comes in a drab grey which won’t offend those technical types.
Product Page ($64.99)
Hey, is that Voyager on your tie? Damn I love Voyager! Oh, and there is the Mariner 02! Man, your tie is like a silky space lesson.
Product Page ($19
The fact that even a slight breeze can arouse most men is well known and does not need to be announced by any shirt. But it is just too easy comparing a man’s ability to be turned on to that of a light switch. Especially when said light switch is essentially taking the place of that which he finds most dear.
Product Page ($16)
Only you will know the weapons that these ties conceal from the rest of the world. The front has a picture of a pocket watch. That sounds innocent enough. But on the back is some dynamite wired up to that watch. No one will guess that the watch is a timer for the bomb, and not an innocent way to tell time. You can just imagine it going off in the middle of another 2 hour, useless business meeting.
Product Page ($40-44)
The Skeletons Doing It Tie is one of those products that can be worn safely in the office, as long as no one gets close enough to notice the actual print on it. What looks like a red, white and blue pattern from a distance becomes a whole group of skeletons having a lot of fun in various positions. You know they are having fun because you don’t often see skeletons smiling.
Product Page ($24.15)
There are times when you go out with the intention of not being recognized. A pair of sunglasses normally helps. Give your private equipment the same ability with these very stylish Schlong Glasses. Keeping him disguised may save you from being embarrassed by women who recognize him but that you do not recall.
Product Page ($4.95 for 2) (somewhat NSFW site)
This Hooded Blazer will certainly make you stand apart in the office. As any fine jacket would, it is fully lined and has all pockets sewn shut. The hood has an embroidered pair of headphones on it, nonfunctional but very fashionable. To complete the illusion, the hood drawstrings are tipped with real 1/8″ headphone jacks. An urban look for a conservative office.
Product Page ($199.99)
Mr. T’s gold chains were a fashion statement that worked for him. Your job may not be so kind about that kind of decoration. Get the best of both worlds with the Fool’s Gold Tie. You will have your corporate noose on as required, but still have a chest full of gold necklaces. Your bosses surely wouldn’t object.
Product Page ($30-50)
This set of Chinese paper clothing is not meant to be worn, it is meant to be burned as an offering to your relatives in the afterlife. Each set includes gold bars, cash, jewelry, three shirts, a sweater and a pair of shoes. The women’s version substitutes the shirts and a sweater for four blouses (pictured after the break).
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