Yeah, I see your little belt-mounted cellphone case. Dorky for sure, but it’s nothing compared to this limited edition Batman Utility Belt.
Made by UD Replicas, the same guys that have brought us all of those movie-themed motorcycle suits, the belt is made from gold-colored leather and features adjustable pouches for your cellphone, wallet, keys, etc.
Product Page ($149 via Technabob)
Hold your pants up like Master Chief. He learned in basic that you need a good belt to prevent a pantsing.
Product Page ($15)
Man, you know bags made from recycled fire hose are going to be rugged.
The bags come in several different styles—plus Feuerwear (or “fire” wear in German) also makes belts and wallets out of the material. Besides making the bags tough, the hoses also give it a nice worn aesthetic.
The Hermès Folding Travel Belt features six hinges that allow you to make your belt compact and easy to pack, finally ending the struggle between you, your belt, and your suitcase. However, that peace of mind will cost you about $730, so it’s time to begin the mental battle to determine how much that convenience is worth to you. Since the belt won’t be released until July, you’ve got some time to play with… Choose wisely.
The Happy Hour watch keeps time in perspective by offering the only number that matters to alcoholics and people who truly hate their jobs: 5 o’ clock. You’ll also get a digital time and date readout, an alloy case, and a wide black band, a patented Happy Hour bottle-opening buckle which can be used to celebrate the hour between the end of work and your arrest for public drunkenness.
If you want to wear a belt buckle that makes a bold statement about other people’s stupidity, you had best be sure that your spelling is correct. Spell check can’t fix everything.
Product Page ($14.99)
There have been other takes on the Batman Utility Belt in the past, but few are as finely crafted as this version from JLA. Unfortunately, there are no grappling hooks or bat-shaped throwing stars in those leather pouches, which makes it hard to justify spending $280 on. Plus, they claim that it is only “a prop replica only and not meant to be worn.” Please—if I’m spending that much on a belt, I’m going to wear it even in the most inappropriate situations. Situations like: with a suit at work, or when I’m naked and ready for some sexy time with my lady. When she protests, I will simply say: “I’m the Batman.”
Product Page ($280/June pre-order)
This emergency condom belt buckle seems to suggest that the appropriate course of action in a fire is to have protected sex. So, you’ll burn to death because you decided to stay and have sex, but at least you won’t get the clap.
Product Page ($18)
A member of the BenHeck.com forums has provided step by step instructions on how you can cleanly integrate a LED into a Zelda Tri-Force belt buckle. At the press of a button it will bring a divine sort of glory to your crotch, beckoning you to come towards the white light. Check out the pic after the break to see it in action.
Enjoy hands-free freedom at this year’s Halloween party with the Drinking Skull Belt. Apparently, the guy with the grenade tattoo is on some sort of 12-step program.
Product Page ($25)
