This emergency condom belt buckle seems to suggest that the appropriate course of action in a fire is to have protected sex. So, you’ll burn to death because you decided to stay and have sex, but at least you won’t get the clap.

Product Page ($18)

A member of the BenHeck.com forums has provided step by step instructions on how you can cleanly integrate a LED into a Zelda Tri-Force belt buckle. At the press of a button it will bring a divine sort of glory to your crotch, beckoning you to come towards the white light. Check out the pic after the break to see it in action.

Project Page (via Technabob)

Enjoy hands-free freedom at this year’s Halloween party with the Drinking Skull Belt. Apparently, the guy with the grenade tattoo is on some sort of 12-step program.

Product Page ($25)

There is nothing like seeing this beautiful shade of Microsoft blue as you are working on a huge presentation that you have not had a chance to save to disk yet. For all the time you have spent redoing work that you lost to the blue screen of death, you may as well use it as a fashion accessory. Just hope that the blue screen on your belt doesn’t cause you to lose anything in that general area.

Product Page ($16.95)

The average person that sees you wearing this belt buckle may not make the connection that it is actually the Stewie Griffin version of Darth Vader. The shape should give it away, but those who see it either aren’t close enough to grasp the head shape or don’t have enough appreciation for Family Guy to immediately recognize it. The true fanboys will get it right away and that is who you wear it for.

Product Page ($15.99 pre-order Jan 2010 ship)

Even though they’ve been extinct for millions of years, T-Rex’s appetite lives on, only now his tastes have shifted toward money rather than other animals. You’ll realize this if you want him to hold up your pants.

Product Page: ($2,500)

Since 1995 is long gone, you probably won’t remember the craptastic film “Tank Girl”, but you can now get a utility belt based on the comic strip that offers everything from tampons to bullets. It may pull your pants around your ankles and make normal activities like sitting down and walking through a metal detector virtually impossible, but it will all pay off that glorious day you’re in desperate need of twine or a Pooh toy.

Product Page: (£85, or about $138)

Any man wearing this belt buckle may have one of two motives: either he is very truthful and sad as he warns women of what to expect, or he has a good sense of humor—though I have no idea why anyone would take the chance of being put in the first category. This buckle comes complete with a charcoal gray web belt.

Product Page ($15)

Congratulations to Karla Lineback our Archie McPhee bacon belt contest winner. I know she must be waiting anxiously by her mailbox right now in anticipation of the glory that is to come.

Just a quick reminder that today is the last day to enter our Archie McPhee bacon belt contest. Check out our contest page for the full details on prizes and how to enter.