Is it a witty play on the obtuse nature of modern man, disclosing his inability to grasp the irony of his vernacular foible?  Is it a joke for linguists, those who would appreciate innate humor of the mixed metaphor?  Or is the humor in the visual contradiction, the interplay of two entities which, by their very nature, should not intermingle.
Maybe it’s just funny, bitch.
Product Page ($14.95)
Was Robert Frost talking about the “Highway to Hell” in “The Road Not Taken”? Â Regardless, finally a shirt has come along that lets people know which direction they need to go to get to their favorite highway oldie song. Â Left for the 1970s, right for the 1980s and straight ahead for the 1990s.
This shirt is undoubtedly the result of some kind of dance crew “turf war”.  Sure, these fights always start out like West Side Story, rival gangs snapping their fingers to the rhythm, slowly circling their foes before the big Bob Fosse finish…jazz hands everywhere.
Actually, considering that scene, it’s most likely that an outsider caught a glimpse of the action and  just started shooting.
Product Page ($15 via Teecraze)
Looking for ways to spice up your relationship with your significant(ly) nerdy other?  Let Dr. Chris help.  My prescription for you consists in a bit of role playing in the guise of some of the sexiest cosplay of all time.
The lace-amatic lets you “tie” your shoes by simply flipping a lever—thereby tightening the laces of your pre-tied shoe.  Here’s a great testimonial taken from the manufacturer’s website:
“Perfect! As an arthritic, one-handed runner (not that I need two hands to run, but you get the picture!) I have always left my runners tied and just jammed my feet in each time I go for a run. With these nifty little gadgets I can get my shoes on faster, there’s no more wrinkled socks, and best of all… I’m not breaking down the heels of my shoes each time I put them on.”
With the constant influx of zombie movies, zombie video games, and…zombie tattoos, it seems that the un-dead have never been more popular. Â Jump on the bandwagon for the low-low price of $9 (hey, that’s less than the cost of one rock, you can spare it).
The caption reads “Join us for a better death;” and really, what could be better than shuffling the earth searching for brains while parts of your body slowly decompose?  Just ask Tara Reid…
The same minds that brought you items like Uggs, and made everything at R.E.I formal attire must be behind Mueslii backpacks.  This collection is called Rotorua.  Based in New Zealand and Italy, handmade in China, European styling blah, blah, blah…let me boil all the jargon down for you: It looks like a catcher’s chest protector.  Play ball.
Has your toilet been malfunctioning ever since that horrible Cinco de Mayo party?  Well, if you are in the NYC area (or perhaps 718 is the new Mushroom Kingdom area code?) give Mario Brothers Plumbing Services a call.  They’ll clear any toilet,  fix any leak, save any princess.  Green piping preferred.
Product Page (£10 or $16 via Superpunch)
The aptly titled Atomic Emission Spectrum Scarf is fully customizable and shows the atomic emission spectrum of your choice making it both warm, and nerdy.  The scarf should appeal to several varieties of nerds as well; for instance, if your friend is merely a ‘computer nerd’ and not an über ‘science nerd,’ you can simply tell him that you are defragging your neck and leave all that science mumbo jumbo for the lab.
Here’s an image of the health-Nazi samurai fighting his one-man crusade against Red Dye #40.  Dammit man, we’re not all allergic!
Product Page ($24)
