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I hear Keith Richards demanded a half pepperoni, half liquor, syringe, eyeball, severed finger, women’s underwear pizza in his dressing room after each show. It’s true…look it up.

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fool-ground

There is just no way around the fact that any pants that show your underwear and drag on the ground are not stylish or cool. Of course, this scolding would have been better coming from Mr. T.

Product Page ($18)

noy-yours-bag-tags

Maybe that fellow traveler has a bag just like yours or maybe he is looking to steal a bag—in either case having one of these bag tags on your luggage should keep them from touching your stuff. They should get the idea that you aren’t playing around with the tag’s straight forward and forceful phrases. Haha…not really. They’ll probably chuckle a bit before they start rifling through your underwear.

Product Page ($1.96)

fg_approved2.jpg

Here are the top ten Fashionably Geek Products for the week of October 4th-11th, 2009:

DIY Super Mario Piranha Plant Scarf: Create an awesome looking piranha plant scarves.

Animated Space Invaders T-Shirt: Draws attention away from your body.

Crib Sheet Shirts: Get high marks, but fall short on subtlety.

Three Wolf, Three Alien Moon Abduction Shirt: Moon/animal shirts reach their zenith.

Simpsons Undies Trucker Cap: Homer Simpson streaks across your baseball cap.

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undercap

If you trust your underwear to protect those parts of you which you consider most dear, then there is no reason to give your head any less protection. In addition to the UV protection it affords you, Underware provides a useful yet minimal amount of protection. You may find that the front exit of these underpants are a bit less useful when worn on the head.

Product Page ($11.95)

homer underwear hat

Well, not exactly “streaks.” He does have the decency to keep his underwear on at least.

Product Page ($22)

pms-undies

You can entice the men by stripping down to your undies and let the undies break the bad news for themselves. A girl on a PMS rampage will scare the hell out of any sane man.

Product Page ($13.99)

self portrait purse

Especially when you reproduce an image of yourself in underwear ninety times, cover a purse with said images, and then expect someone to part with $300 for the result.

Product Page: ($300)

decision-pants-food

There are not many clothes you can buy that will help with your lunch plans, but these black Decision Pants Food boxers come packaged in a plastic cube that you can roll to decide where to eat. You have enough big decisions to make at work every day, this will at least remove one worry while giving you that soft cotton undergarment that we all look for.

Product Page (£5.99, about $9.70)

bacon handerpants contest

Just a reminder that today is the last day to win the two stupidest products ever made—the Mr. Bacon board game and a pair of Handerpants from Archie McPhee. Just tweet this post or anything mentioning @NerdApproved and you are automatically entered to win. The more you tweet, the more chances you have.