
Harness an image of the King of Pop’s face to block out the light while you sleep with this Michael Jackson “Dangerous” sleep mask. Maybe when you wear it your dreams will involve you and Peter Pan flying over England while making nightly trips to Neverland to fight Captain Hook. It’ll be a nice change from the 8 hour porn movie that normally occupies that time slot.
Product Page: ($25)

Nothing says “hardcore pirate” like wearing an eyepatch and a sleep mask with another eyepatch on it.
Product Page ($10)

People in your household may not give waking you out of a deep sleep a second thought, but they may hesitate just a bit when they see a mummy with glowing eyes staring at them. It is worth trying anything to get people to leave you alone, so this sleep mask would be a small price to pay.
Product Page ($12.50)

This sleep mask is reversible, “sleeping with the devil” on one side, “sleeping with my angel” on the other. All you need to figure out is which one indicates that she would be open to waking up at midnight for a some extracurricular activities.
Product Page ($20)

You can’t see through women’s clothes with your eyes closed! It probably doesn’t matter though. I’m sure this sleep mask works just about as well as the glasses.
Product Page ($12)

This sleep mask will be great for you to block out the light and let you get a good nights sleep, but it won’t be doing any favors for your sleep partner. Lucky, the wearer of the mask will not have to see those goofy and unmistakable eyes looking at them all night.
Product Page ($9)

An oversize cooling mask with a catchy name. Puffy the Eye Bag Slayer can be worn all night so you wake up refreshed, which is somewhat odd because the average vampire is awake all night. Still, Buffy and all her friends rarely got any sleep hunting those nocturnal beasts. I don’t recall any of them looking overly tired so maybe this thing will work for you too.
Product Page (£3.00, about $6)