The insane craze surrounding the three (insert anything) moon shirts have finally caught the attention of state officials in New Hampshire, who smelled money and instantly claimed the original three wolf moon design and the sweet green it produces by making it the official t-shirt of state economic development:
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santa
Use your imagination and pretend this is supposed to look anything like a TMNT character instead of an excuse to see a woman wearing a revealing costume. Take away the sai and the tiny shell on the back and you’ll have something that looks more like “Santa’s Sexy Elf” sporting four freak abs and giant breast muscles.
If your goal in life is to take what should be the happiest holiday of the year and turn it into a nightmare inducing shirt, this one has it covered. The kids will be more likely to be cowering in fear that Santa Claws will show up rather than hoping that jolly,old Santa Claus will bring them everything they asked for.
Product Page (£11.00, about $17.50)
Rudolph may have lit the way for Santa through a driving blizzard, but the inefficiency of his nose is also a huge energy waster. Someone who lives at the North Pole knows about global warming better than anyone, so Santa did the right thing and switched Rudolph to a compact fluorescent.
Product Page ($10)
With less than a week remaining until Christmas, Santa is still trying to get Rudolph to get over the fact that his red state sensibilities were defeated at the ballot box last year. There is very little time for Rudolph to get back into flying shape.
Product Page ($15)
Pink Floyd may want you to consider the dark side of the moon, but most Earthbound souls restrict their deep thinking closer to home. Your average gardener will be able to relate to the greenhouse a lot easier than a natural satellite of the earth.
Product Page (£20, about $32)
A man who delivers wrapped gifts to billions of kids a year knows something about wrapping. So when Santa says to keep it wrapped, you keep it wrapped. He could parlay this into a high paying gig with the Trojan company.
Product Page ($22.99)
Everyone is happy to open their house to a stranger who brings them gifts once a year. Those same people would probably not be happy to open their house to an S&M aficionado, but so far there have been no questions about what activities Santa and the misses enjoy on his own time.
Product Page ($19)
“Santa On a Stick” may provide a good disguise if you plan an Ocean’s Eleven style heist of Santa’s Workshop. Just be prepared to explain any physical discrepancies, like why Santa’s lips don’t move and why he needs to have a stick attached to his chin at all times. You’d better hope those Elves are pretty really damned stupid.
Product Page: ($5)
Here are the top ten Fashionably Geek Products for the week of November 23rd-29th, 2009:
NASA Meatball Rhinestone Tote Bag: Comes pre-blinged with rhinestones.
Special T-Shirt: You’re special alright…Like ’70s CBS special.
“I Can Kick Your Ass” Hat: I hope you can back up your hat’s smack talk.
Direct Line T-Shirt: Commissioner Gordon has his priorities in order.
Three Snowmen Santa Moon T-Shirt: The “three moon” t-shirt craze has been adapted for the holidays.
