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If you want to elevate yourself to “instant awesome” status among nerds, simply present your Zombie Ninja Pirate shirt and begin group contemplation about exactly how many degrees of cool you’d be if you were an undead, brain eating, Japanese mercenary martial arts master who performs covert operations while plundering land and sea.
Product Page: With Text: ($21.73) Without Text: ($21.73 via The Awesomer)
A few burgers and large sodas and even previously feared Japanese monsters will put on a few pounds. The pudgy faced dinosaur with a gut doesn’t instill fear in too many people any more, unless they are behind him in line looking for a burger and some fries.
Product Page ($10)
These Tabi socks offer a Hokusai print and kanji that apparently reads either “Japan is #1″ or “Best of Japan”. By the looks of things this could be a creative way to get more surfers to vacation in The Land of the Rising Sun.
Product Page: ($10)
Japanese paper folding can’t be all about cranes and flowers. Sooner or later even the best of us will turn to duplicating carnal pleasures, the words “origami” and “orgasm” are just too similar to not make the connection.
Product Page ($19)
Passersby won’t be able to tell that this wrist device tells time, they will probably just think you have some sort of heart condition that you need to continuously monitor with an electrocardiogram display. It is available in either gray or black with red or green LED’s. On the plus side it can be recharged via USB. Unfortunately for you, it does tell time if you can figure it out. Check out the examples after the jump.
How many times have you thought: “Damn, if only they could package the subtle, stylish look of a Happy Meal into a shoe, I’d get so laid”. Well clear your calendar stud, because the Japanese heard you loud and clear! These Burger Brown and Cheese Yellow Asics come complete with french fry insoles, and combine the ugliness of 1991 skate fashion with the unbridled cool of Ronald McDonald. Only money and confidence is more attractive to the opposite sex.
Product Page: (14,000 Yen, or about $143.95)
Apparently male Japanese cars have no more self control than the average man. Not real surprising, their owners really need to try to curb this type of public displays of affection.
Product Page ($16.99)
Technically this is named the Naruto Shuriken bag, Naruto referring to the manga series and a shuriken being the name for a Japanese concealed weapon. What you call it is not nearly important as the reason you want it in the first place. And that is just cool ninja styling.
Product Page ($30)
Japan must be a rough place for women to live. When they are not dodging subway perverts, they are trying to escape the panty thieves. It’s a never ending gauntlet of sexual predators.
Product Page ($19)
The Bento Box is a traditional Japanese way of carrying a portable lunch with them. This Bento Watch has a miniature version of a whole Bento box lunch in 3D on the face. You have to figure that even if the watch craps out after a couple weeks you can still wear the watch and call it an Asian accessory. It’s not really the type of thing you would have bought solely for the purpose of telling time.
Product Page ($19.95)
