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trespassers-prostituted

This shirt will warn all potential trespassers that there are a lot worse things than being prosecuted. Standing in front of a judge is a lot better than being rented out to a fat, hairy slob by the hour.

Product Page ($20)

eyeball-bow-clips_redIf you’re a teacher or a Mom, this is a great way to finally reveal that extra set of eyes you’ve been telling your kids you have in the back of your head. That should help keep the little monsters in line.

Product Page: (AU$24, or about $22)

Brown Paper Mache Wolf MaskYou may think your alter-ego is a wolf, but until now it was hard to find a mask that would give you the look and still represent your flowing locks. Thankfully,  Sans Souci studios released this line of masks which will keep your beloved rockstar hairdo or out of control mullet intact. Check out the additional designs after the break.

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Here are the top ten Fashionably Geek Products for the week of September 21st-27th, 2009:

Product Placement T-Shirt: And now, a message from famous fictional sponsors.

Marc Ecko Halo Master Chief Hoodie: Ready to throw good taste (and good money) to the wind?

Beatbox Troopers Shirt: Not dark side material.

Your Fortune T-Shirt: Your future is not found.

USS Enterprise T-Shirt: Elvis’ hair boldly goes where no man has gone before.

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jack o lantern slippers

The hideousness of these Jack O’Lantern Slippers is scary enough, but wearing them first thing in the morning with your hair askew, eyes crusted shut and makeup off will undoubtedly have the villagers lighting up their torches.

Product Page ($40)

USS EnterpriseI don’t know what the hell is supposed to be going on here, but when you find comedy gold like an image of Elvis’ hair twisting into outer space with the Enterprise flying by, it demands recognition.

Product Page: (33.50 €, or about $49.64)

redrum skeleton braceletWhen you think of uses for a disembodied skeleton hand your first thought probably isn’t hair clip, brooch, necklace, choker or bracelet. But someone saw the potential, and apparently made some money off it, because it’s currently sold out on Etsy. Same goes for the equally ingenious black stitches bracelet pictured after the break.

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food fight

It was the bloodiest battle in the history of food. Today, many a tourist has claimed a supernatural encounter while visiting the battlefield. Often, they hear the screams of wounded tomatoes as the doctors go to work, see rivers running with ketchup and feel the hair standing up on their neck as a faint smell of cherries floats through the air.

Product Page ($15 via The Awesomer)

Snakeskin Lips Clutch

This would look totally natural in 1988, along with the latest Poison album, hairspray, high heels, fishnets, a feather boa and the street.

Product Page: ($361)

bone-hair-clip

Whether you have a fetish for skeletons or are jealous of Pebbles Flintstone’s hairstyle, the Bone Hair Clip will give you that prehistoric look. Not every little girl wants bows in her hair.

Product Page ($8.17)