You searched for:
Okay, I tried to pass off the Kinekt gear ring as a wedding band, but even I have to draw the line at these monster rings from Undead Ed. Unless you want to be married in the eyes of Satan, I would steer clear of these. A gallery is available after the break—I even threw in some monster bracelets for good measure.
I’ll have to pass on any foot-flavored energy drinks, but I understand where Reebok is coming from with their new ZigTech sneakers. Simply put, the main feature is a zig-zag-shaped foam sole that absorbs impact and uses it to help propel an athlete forward.
Put Wonder Woman to work with this bra, where her powers will be used to lift and support your breasts while using her super strength to eliminate boob spread. However, even as much as you may want it, the bra will not give you speed, agility or the ability to fly.
Product Page: (£14, or about $22)
Here are the top ten Fashionably Geek Products for the week of January 25th-31st, 2010:
Armatix .22 Pistol: Features ingenious wearable safety feature.
Ghost Dragon House: No wonder this house was so cheap.
Polaroid Peel Apart Film Messenger Bag: This messenger bag teaches you how easy it is to develop Polaroid film.
Behind the War: Everybody poops, even Darth Vader.
Epic Rock, Paper, Scissors: Cowboy vs. Ninja vs. Robot vs. Pirate vs. Zombie.
Use your imagination and pretend this is supposed to look anything like a TMNT character instead of an excuse to see a woman wearing a revealing costume. Take away the sai and the tiny shell on the back and you’ll have something that looks more like “Santa’s Sexy Elf” sporting four freak abs and giant breast muscles.
I don’t know if I would lie down on my back with this eye mask on (since it looks like it might cut off circulation to your brain), but if you are looking to relax and listen to some music, it might fit the bill. Obviously, wearing it will plunge you into a world of darkness (and a future world of neck pain), but it does have speakers for an MP3 player and built-in nature sounds. It’s available in three colors: grass green, aqua blue and rose pink—but they do nothing to detract from how hideous you will look wearing one.
This Wonder Woman tiara, bracelet and lasso set is meant as a collectible display piece, but if any sexy women want to wear it that’s fine by me. Now, guys that want to put this stuff on a blow up doll with a taped-on face shot of Megan Fox is another matter altogether.
Product Page ($260)
It seems that zombie men and women are not much different than the living variety. Its all about brains for both of them, although the women tend to get a little thrown off when a cute pair of shoes are found.
Product Page ($24.99)
If you want to elevate yourself to “instant awesome” status among nerds, simply present your Zombie Ninja Pirate shirt and begin group contemplation about exactly how many degrees of cool you’d be if you were an undead, brain eating, Japanese mercenary martial arts master who performs covert operations while plundering land and sea.
Product Page: With Text: ($21.73) Without Text: ($21.73 via The Awesomer)
