From the monthly archives:
Uh-huh… since everyone is thinking the same thing when they see a long brass pinkie fingernail ring, let’s just stop for a moment and laugh while imagining the collective and extremely satisfied “awwwww yeah!” coming from every blow addict that spots this product.
Product Page: ($156)
When he’s not waging war on the rebel alliance, Darth Vader indulges in his secret fantasy: riding a hog on a road trip across the southwest, smuggling drugs, getting arrested and hanging out at communes with hippies a la Easy Rider.
Product Page: ($15.99)
So apparently cubicles breed zombies. It may be a fallacy, but walk around any office building’s cubicle farm and you will not be 100% sure. Those people certainly seem to be walking around on auto pilot like your typical zombie would be.
Product Page ($15.95)
A little fine fur around your neck is generally a high class fashion statement. This particular scarf is faux fur, but I don’t think raccoon is generally considered one of the finer furs. It would also help if there was a little more work done than coming straight from the road where it met its demise.
Product Page ($40)
These guys have been getting their asses kicked in Space Invaders for the past 31 years. I’d say it’s time to discover camouflage and the art of guerrilla warfare and only break out their current moves when they go line dancing at an intergalactic hoedown.
Product Page: ($18)
Show your affinity for pain with a silver band aid ring. It’ll be like a wearing a billboard that says your body is composed of 90% cojones.
Product Page: ($150 AUD or about $98)
In the world of navel piercings there is a new sheriff in town, you. Forget the boring little rings with balls, this sheriff’s badge and handcuffs give your dates an even better idea of what to expect than the piercing gave them in the first place.
Product Page ($9.99)
The only thing that would make this shirt more inappropriate to wear to meet your new girlfriends parents would be if they had added the text from the headline – “Higher success rate than Match.com”.
Product Page ($15)
When you see two dudes wearing their underwear on the outside with tights, elf shoes, capes and masks with eyebrows drawn on them, this is the only thing that really looks natural.
Product Page: (£24.99, or about $36)
Rest assured, if AT-ATs were real and space shuttles could be ridden Dr. Strangelove style without risking imminent death, there’s some crazy bastard out there who would do it. The AT-AT shirt is pictured after the break.
