Being an immortal vampire may seem cool at first, but after a few hundred years things get kind of stale. I mean, when you are not sucking blood what the hell is there to do at four in the morning? Honestly, before video games were invented, I don’t know how vampires could stand it.
Product Page ($15)
It’s not me…it’s the squirrels that have A.D.D. I mean, have you ever watched one? They dart around left and right, back and forth, up the tree, down the tree. Those damn squirrels need to focus! Nuts! It is as simple as that.
Product Page ($13)
The Wooldom is like a condom, only it doesn’t come out only when fun times are about to begin. This piece of apparel comes out when it is cold and frostbite may be an issue. I mean, I can take losing a toe to the cold, but we have to draw the line somewhere.
Product Page (€25, about $32)
Let’s face it, you are not going to run into any actual werwolves or vampires this Halloween. However, the dentist and and his drill are very…very real.
Product Page
Hoodies are popular with the kids these days, and what could be better than a hoodie with a built-in pouch to hold your beer? The answer is nothing…nothing could be better.
Product Page ($45)
Sending your kid to school with this lunchbox will make your child’s life at school that much easier. First, if the bullies are also fans of Dale Earnhardt Jr., then he gets a free pass. The rest will be afraid of him just because they figure that only rednecks are fans of NASCAR. And you never know what you can expect from a redneck. The fact that the helmet lunchbox has his old car number on it almost makes this a collector’s item.
Product Page ($13.95)
This shirt poses a very serious question. When looked at this way you can see that there is far too much times spent on the wars and not nearly enough on the whores. I am hopeful that I am not the only person who would make the same choice, but I am very comfortable with my selection.
Product Page ($18)
Holy crap…this is a lot better than looking at Dan Aykroyd.
Product Page ($50)
We all know da Vinci was one of the greatest artists and tinkerers of all time—is this t-shirt proof that he was really trying to build a robot to take out John Connor mankind?
Product Page ($19)
