From the monthly archives:
So we have here a Percussion Tie. All you people that have been at band camp will appreciate such a thing, while all of those at football and cheerleading camp will be a bit confused.
What is cool about this? If I have to tell you that, then you obviously have not seen the movie ‘Band Camp’. If you don’t know your instruments, then whether you are percussion or woodwinds makes absolutely no difference. And that is just not right.
Product Page ($18.95)
So you meant to say that girl reminded you of something beautiful, and somehow your mother’s name got tangled up in that sentence? That, my friend, would be a classical Freudian slip. And if you are going to make stupid comments, you may as well warn them by wearing a pair of Freudian Slippers. Definitely comfortable, and maybe they will help you get yourself out of a self-created jam.
Product Page ($24.95)
Just when you thought the fat guy in a Speedo was as bad as it could get, someone decided to manufacture the “mankini” featured in the Borat movie. Warning: may result in ass kicking and/or alienation by the opposite sex.
Product Page (£9.95 or $20)
Have you been waiting forever for your man to pop the question? Maybe it is time to crank up the pressure with this not-too-subtle “Hint” ring fashioned from a key on a kids laptop. Then again, commitaphobes generally don’t respond well to pressure, so wear at your own risk.
Product Page ($14.95)
You can wear a windbreaker to keep you safe from a gentle breeze. Wearing this Chain mail Shirt you can protect yourself from knives and swords. Now you tell me, which one sounds more like something you need to be protected from?
Product Page ($264)
So this very attractive woman is coming on to you, and you happen to notice that she is wearing an Endorphin Necklace. Let’s see, an endorphin is a natural opioid. That means that it will give you a natural high. So we have a natural high and a cute girl. There is no doubt the necklace is just a test. Do you recognize a good time when you see it? Would you pass her little intelligence test?
Product Page ($640)
Is your child getting along with all the other kids at school too well? You can stop that in a hurry if you send him to school in this Astronaut Flight Suit. This outfit will bring out the bully in the best of kids, and your child will be the lucky recipient.
Product Page ($49.95)
Elvis knew how to sing and dress like a freak. You may not be able to sing like the King, but you can certainly dress like him thanks to this bathrobe. Just don’t try to imitate the King when you are on the throne. If you died on the toilet wearing this (whilst pinching out a rough one) the paramedics that would come to haul your body away wouldn’t be able to resist laughing.
Product Page (£49.95 or $94.69)
Your well dressed geek should go out with clothing appropriate to a superhero as least once a week. Wearing this Batman Hoodie, you may want to every day. A hoodie with a Batman logo on it is not good enough, you need this version that has the ears on the hood as well. The ears are what change this from just another sweatshirt to a must have gift.
Product Page ($92.99)
True, you can’t have manslaughter without laughter. And you cant have prison without butt- rape. Definitely a worth addition to any wardrobe heavy in “psycho chic.”
Product Page ($18)
